Dengan Cemerlang / With Distinction / Summa cum laude

The European Union education system has finally recognised the International Masters degree (with distinction) conferred to me by the Asia-Europe Institute, University of Malaya. As such, I am now eligible to pursue doctoral studies in any European university.

After receiving the call in the office from the credentials evaluator of the academic recognition centre, I had a look at the diploma and transcript of records which I submitted to them for assessment. I glanced at the diploma in an offhand manner. Nothing special; and I thought it was even printed in an ordinary paper. What struck my attention more was that the paper was a bit crumpled due to the careless handling of the courier despite my friend Tina's (who I know to be very particular and caring) all caps notice to the courier in Malaysia when she mailed it to me here in Estonia: ‘PLS. DON'T FOLD. IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS INSIDE. THANK YOU!’

When I got back to the dorm, I thought of sending emails to my former professors - each of them has actually made an original contribution to their respective fields, making them to be among the world’s most distinguished scholars in the fields of development economics, regional integration, and political economy. I sent emails to them, expressing all over again my gratitude to the wonderful learning encounters I had with them when I was doing my MA, and also sharing with them the honour of receiving the ‘dengan cemerlang’, which is truly special to title-obsessed societies like Malaysia.

I never consider myself a great student. In fact, I had each and every mark in the University of the Philippines’ grading system encircled in my undergraduate classcards, from 1.0 to 1.75 to 2.25 to 3.0 to 4.0 to 5.0 to ‘inc’. The only grade I never had was ‘drp’ since I always said to myself then ‘tuloy ang laban’ (the fight shall continue) even though I could have handily opted for this grade when getting a 5.0 in Math 17 was already too imminent. I still keep all these undergraduate classcards in my ‘suitcase of memories’ (which is literally a suitcase where I have tried to keep memorable stuff since elementary and high school - and yes, including those cheesy love letters to my old crushes!). I was not in the top 10 of the graduating class in both elementary and high school. I had also my time in Row 4 (yes, that row for the slow, naughty pupils in the class!), kasama ng mga kakosa ko (with my fellow inmates), our groins always got pinched when I was in grade school. I did not even come from the top section in our high school when I graduated.

I received awards of recognition for leadership though for both the graduations in high school and college - as the highest boy scout leader in the former and as member of the student council and leader of several student organisations in the latter (I was even nominated to the UP Diliman Gawad Chanselor Para sa Pinakamahusay na Lider Estudyante [UP Chancellor's Award for Outstanding Leader] which, I was told, I could have won had it not for the ‘inc’ I had during that semester – long story). But then I do not consider myself to be academically excellent. During the time he was president of UP, my former professor, Francisco Nemenzo, even described me as ‘flippant at times’ in one of the ‘handwritten’ recommendation/reference forms he filled out for me. (Yes, I've kept that recommendation letter in my suitcase)!

In other words, getting a ‘summa cum laude’ for my International Master’s degree feels too good to be true, if not funny enough. Until I received replies from my former professors.... And these lines flattered me but saddened me as well (especially when this wonderful and passionate teacher said his teaching stint is now over):

Dear Bonn,

…[T]he honorific "dengan cemerlang" is entirely merited - whatever...you went through in...Malaysia could never take away from the fact, pure and simple, that you are an outstanding scholar with a tremendous passion for knowledge. You deserve everything, Bonn!

Though you are in my heart for many reasons - not least your high-level monkeying around - I also realise that you were my last great protege as a student and, if I may say so, the best of the bunch. Sometimes I pass a few moments thinking of those whom I have taught - [IP, LC, AN, DK, RR], and the rest. They're all in the academic world, ploughing their furrow, teaching a new generation, writing their findings. But you were the best and you will go furthest in pushing our understanding of critical political economy. I feel my teaching stint is done ... time for other things now.

Thanks for the very kind words, Professor, especially for the reminder that what has been awarded to me is full of meaning. I'll try to carry on. Now I have understood more than ever why my mother was disappointed to learn that I did not attend the convocation to receive this distinction. I have once again discovered how the mundane can be extraordinarily special, how one thing can contain everything, and how the commonplace can be deciphered to understand its beautiful mystery.

I had a sentimental glance at the diploma, embraced it close to my heart thanking those who have blessed, helped, and motivated me, including the Malaysian people, especially the workers, whose sweat has cultivated and fertilised me with so much blessings. And I said to myself that I will never look at that crumpled paper indifferently again! It is a token readily retrievable from memory to keep me inspired especially during times of doubt when a dormant optimism needs to be awakened. Indeed, like any other objects, that piece of crumpled paper is inanimate. It is I who shall give life to it.

Well-meaning friends and family often ask me: Why Malaysia when I could get to Singapore? Why Estonia when I could get to the UK or the US? I thank Robert Frost for providing the answer:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

P.S. The other day I received another beautiful inspiring letter from my first ever boss and former professor, who is well-regarded as a serious scholar with multi-awarded research and who recommended me to do my MA at the Asia-Europe Institute.

Dear Bonn,

It looks like you're living a charmed and charming life out there getting to places we can only imagine and meeting all kinds of interesting and important people. You also work with a very solid core of scholars who are on the cutting edges of unorthodox but compellingly relevant academic and policy approaches to the social sciences.

Indeed, we grow and progress in life remembering what motivates and inspires us, and forgetting the old things of no value that have once stolen our dreams. This, I – we – must take to heart and keep in mind. This is how to play a good game dengan cemerlang, with distinction.